Chronic skin picking and the urge to kick it in the butt!

The author of Bonzai Aphrodite has this fantastic reader activity that she starts every monday of each month. It's called MMM or Monday Monthly Mission. I always try to take part in these missions as they are ways to improve ourselves as people; be it a social, personal, or environmental change, Sayward asks you to participate and to give your opinion on the matter at hand. I thorougly enjoy taking part in her missions.
This month, we're focusing on bad habits. We choose a bad habit and attempt to change it for the better of ourselves, our family, and/or our community. At the end of the month, we return to said MMM and explain our thoughts on how we did and whether we will continue to stay away from that bad habit.
My choice of a bad habit is a compulsion called Chronic Skin Picking. I have had the compulsion for many years, well over twenty (and to think I'm twenty-two years old!). It began as hair pulling and than moved into picking at my skin. It has always been a high source of stress for me, even though the reason I skin pick is because of anxiety and stress. Imagine that! I explained to Sayward what habit I plan on changing, and the lovely lady found a website for me on Trichotillomania and Chronic Skin Picking! Bless her!
I'm just so glad to know I am not the only out in the world who deals with the constant urges to pick at my skin or pull my hair out. I requested information on both Trichotillomania and CSP; sometimes I return to pulling my hair out over picking at my skin. I hope that I can find at home remedies to help me cope with my urges. I do not have health insurance at the moment so if I can solve this on my own, great! If not, I better start saving up for the Doctor. Boo.
So to begin my part of the MMM, I took pictures of my face. My face is where I do the brunt of the damage. I always dreamed of having perfect skin. I will have scars after I stop my habit but at least I will know I can control my urges if everything works out by the end of the month. It WILL work out! I will post my before and after pictures after the MMM is over. We'll see how I well I fought my urges!

I am going to try a few methods. First, I need to keep my fingers constantly busy. What is the best way for me to keep busy? Exercise, writing, crocheting, or knitting. I could always search for other activties...perhaps cooking as well. I smoke, but that doesn't bloody count. First off, UNHEALTHY! Second, I still pick at my skin even when I smoke! So that does not count in any way. Such a nasty habit...tsk. I think I know what I'm going to kick after my CSP!
Folks, what else do you think I could do to keep myself occupied and away from my face!? I love opinions!
If you want to participate in the MMM, head on over to Bonzai Aphrodite. You won't regret it. The community is immensly supportive! I do not think I could do what I am doing now with my CSP without the help of the Bonzai community and its beautiful Creator, Sayward! You guys ROCK!
Salek

Hello! I am Salek! I am a 22 year old woman in constant battle with myself to eat healthier, exercise, and all the while stay environmentally conscious! What better way to keep myself in check than to have a blog on said topics? There are soooo many blogs out in Internet land like mine but I am going to try and keep you folks as entertained as possible in my own endeavors. Of course, I will be plugging blogs I thoroughly enjoy on a daily basis.

I have been sitting here with a cup of tea and nom-ming on a pack of blueberries for the last half hour trying to decide on what topic I could begin writing on first. As much as I dread talking about it, I will begin discussing my health first.

I am overweight. Discouraging no? ALAS! Do not click the back button yet! Let me explain myself first. I have Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. I was diagnosed in 2007 after eight years of heavy and sporatic periods. Apparently, my issues with weight loss has been effected by my PCOS. I was rather happy that I could have a bit of an explaination behind my difficulty losing weight but it was no excuse to not exercise or eat healthy!

Last year in February I had an epiphany after watching my brother graduate from Boot Camp in the Navy; I want to be recognized for my valor and my willingness to protect my country and its people just the same as my brother. I also plan on joining the military.

While I still have the military as one of my biggest goals to date, I decided to attend the Police Academy after I graduated College for that extra experience. My Police Academy test was last Saturday. I passed my 300 meter dash, sit ups, bench press, but failed my mile and a half. I was devastated but I know that my next test is two months from now. I will not fail again.

From my brother's graduation, I had stayed very disciplined with eating healthy and exercising every day. I actually lost thirty pound in a course of seven months and than October 2009 came around. I was still in school and I worked in food service. I lived and breathed my job because of the impending holidays. Since I spent most of my days in my restaurant and my school, I gained almost all of my weight back. I am at 200 lbs as of today.

So where exactly does this lead me? I gained all of my weight back, I failed my Police Academy test, I'm sore, tired and hungry as hell. I guess I'll just have to keep you posted as I discover that for myself.

I may fail but I always get back up and try again.